Some stories don’t just talk about healing… they quietly rewrite how we understand suffering in the first place. I highly recommend watching In Waves & War. It is an absolutely beautiful documentary.
In Waves & War follows a group of former Navy SEALs living with PTSD, addiction, suicidality… the invisible weight they carried home after combat. That alone would make for a powerful documentary.
But what moved me most was something deeper they discovered along the way…
As these men worked with ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT, they began to see that much of their pain did not start on the battlefield. It started in childhood.
Old wounds. Broken homes. Violence. Neglect. The silent contracts kids make with themselves just to survive.
You hear them begin to ask…
maybe I didn’t just get traumatized in war…
maybe the boy I used to be was already hurting long before I ever put on a uniform…
maybe that’s part of what drove me to become a SEAL in the first place.
For me, that’s what makes this film so important. It isn’t only about the horror of war and the possibility of relief… it’s about how early trauma can shape a life, steer a career, and finally come up for healing in ways nobody expected.
What You’ll See In This Film
The men in this documentary are not speaking in theory. They talk about:
- Living with relentless PTSD symptoms after service
- Years of trying everything they could within the usual systems
- The impact on marriages, children, and their own will to stay alive
- Choosing to work with ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT in structured, medically supported settings
- Watching the medicine bring up memories and beliefs from long before deployment… from childhood itself
And then something crucial…
They talk about how what happens after the ceremony is just as important as what happens in it.
They describe the work of integrating the insights they received:
- Having hard conversations with partners, children, and parents
- Making different choices in daily life
- Letting go of old identities that no longer fit
- Finding new ways to relate to their pain, instead of being ruled by it
This is not presented as a one-night miracle. The medicine may open a door… but they are very clear that walking through that door, day by day, is an integration journey.
It’s raw, human, complicated… and hopeful.
If the trailer speaks to you, I encourage you to seek out the full documentary from its original creators and watch when you have time and space to really sit with it.
A Word of Caution
I’m sharing this film because I believe these stories matter. In the United States these medicines are illegal. This blog post is not a recommendation or an instruction. Ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT are powerful substances. They are illegal or highly regulated in many places and can carry serious risks, including medical risks that require careful screening and supervision.
This documentary is:
- For education and awareness
- Not medical advice
- Not an endorsement of any specific clinic, provider, or protocol
If you ever consider any kind of psychedelic treatment or ceremony:
- Learn the laws where you live
- Do your own careful research
- Speak with qualified medical and mental-health professionals
- Move slowly… your life and wellbeing are precious
No video or blog should replace thoughtful, informed decision making.
If You’re Struggling With PTSD Or Trauma
If any part of this hits close to home… whether you served in the military or not… I want you to hear this:
You are not weak for hurting.
You are not broken for carrying what you carry.
And you do not have to carry it alone.
There are many paths toward healing… trauma-informed therapy, peer support, body-based practices, breathwork, community, and simple human presence. Psychedelic medicines are only one part of a much larger landscape, and they are not the only doorway to change.
If you are in immediate crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out to local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area. Your safety comes first… always.
Where Integration Fits In
One of the most honest parts of In Waves & War is hearing these men talk about how much integration matters… that the real work is bringing the insights from ceremony into everyday life, relationships, and choices. That is the heart of Integrating With Love.
Integrating With Love offers space to integrate… to talk, to listen, and to explore what your experiences mean for the way you actually live.
Some people who join our circles have worked with psychedelics or plant medicines. Some never have and never will. All that matters is that you come as a human being trying to make sense of what life has handed you.
We sit together… we listen… we untangle things a little at a time… and sometimes, simply being met in a real way softens things enough that the next step becomes clearer.
If this film stirs memories, grief, anger, or possibility… you’re welcome to join us. You can find information about our free online integration circles, courses, and retreats here on the site.
If you know someone living with PTSD or the long echo of trauma, consider sharing In Waves & War with them… not as a prescription, but as a story. A reminder that even when the pain goes back further than anyone realized, there are still ways forward… and they do not have to walk that path alone.